WOW

I can't believe 2009 is just around the corner. I hope it brings much love, happiness, health and good to all. Time goes by so fast and the kids are growing way too fast. Before, I know it Brittani will be out of school and out of the house.
Closing with some Christmas pictures,




All the grandkids, plus a couple moms.
take 1 and 2
Santa aka papa and Dalton
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Recovery.

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and all is well. I am still trying to recover from the holiday.
We spent Christmas with my mom and step dad. My brothers were there along with my step sibs. It was a whole house full. Great food and company. I had the most fun playing with my 22 month old niece. She is a spit fire and my mini me. She looks just like me and Brittani when we were little.
I found out Tuesday night, Curtis' family was coming over on Christmas and I am cooking. WTF? His mom brought over prime rib on Christmas eve for me to cook. I had never cooked a prime rib. With alittle help of google, we had a very nice dinner. The only down fall to Christmas, I woke up sick with a chest cold and still trying to get better. I hate taking medicine and going to the dr. Just trying to tuff it out.
Saturday we spent at my dad's. The best part about that, is my dad now lives in my grammy's house that he grew up in. That we all grew up in. I love going back to the farm. We all met for breakfast. I brought cinnamon rolls with maple frosting. As always, good food and too much too eat.
We spent today taking down all the lights and tree. Finding places to put away all the new toys the boys got and wash all the new clothes the girls got. Curtis and I don't buy for each other. We feel Christmas is for the kids and giving to others.

Merry Christmas

Brittani and Becca Dec 2008

Not Me! Monday?

I did not worry about my brother all weekend. He isn't going thru a nasty custody battle with his oh so ever sweet ex wife. Nope!
I didn't sneak a piece of chocolate cake last night after, everyone went to bed. I didn't sit there in the dark and savor every last bite.
I didn't wish that it would quit snowing so, I could finish up my Christmas shopping. I don't hate the snow. I don't like to sit in the warmth of my house drinking "apple pie", in the dark just with the outside Christmas light on watching the snow fall.
The weather man didn't say "this is the most snow fall we have seen in 40 years" Wow, can you believe it. Come on we live in the rainy northwest. What is this white stuff?

Snow and the kids are home

Cemetary by the school

View from school yard

School

Don't know which one, snowboarding

Becca

Wine, wine, wine, take me away. The kids only had school one day this week. Now, Christmas break starts on Monday. They are driving me nuts. Brittani is fighting with me. Becca is just a smart ass and the boys...................well, they are fighting with everyone. It is very hard to keep 2 8 year old boys busy and out of everyone's hair.

We did drive up to the school yesterday and play in the snow. We had to chain up 3 miles from our house. It was cold and alot of fun. Weather man said snow, ice and high winds are on the way tonight. We have been advised to have supplies on hand for cold and power outages. They even have talked about closing down a couple of highways. Wow! I don't know if us "Oregonians" know what winter weather is other than rain.

ups and downs of my feelings

As the holidays get closer, I throw myself more and more into keeping busy. I just hate this time of year.
I ache for the girls' dad. He was a great person. He impacted my life along with my brothers life. My brothers looked up to him. They thought of him as a big brother. He was a big brother, friend and role model to them. My brother's ex spouse has drug him into the mud and he is trying to get out. The only thing that keeps him going is his son and the impact Frank left on his life. I hope Frank knows when he left us here, he left a huge impact on our lives that made us stronger. I believe, when he died he gave us his strength.
We are going on our 12th Christmas without him. I remember our last Christmas together like it was yesterday. We looked so happy. We were happy. If I could have looked into his eyes and known what pain he was in, I would have given my body and soul to help him. I just wish he would have told me how much pain he was in.
I remember how raw the pain was in the early days. Now sometimes, I just am numb. No feeling at all. I often wonder, if I had not built this brick wall around me if I wouldn't be so numb. Have I truly grieved for him? I think as milestones happen in life, I try to keep it together without loosing it. I have to right?
When, Frank died, I lived in this bubble that protected me from the outside world. My world stopped. It wasn't until later, that I realized that the world keep moving and life still went on. It didn't for me. I look back, and can't believe it has been almost 12 years. 12 years without him. I have lived my adult life longer without him than with him.
The man that gave me a rose, the second time I saw him. I never told him, but he melted my heart the first time he smiled at me from across the room at a party. The man, that stole my heart that night. The man, that taught me how to bait a hook, gut a fish, go hunting, sleep in the back of a truck, climb the roof and watch a meteor shower, or look up at the stars and how bright they were on a clear night. He showed me the correct way to make pancakes or better yet how to do straight shots of tequila, play strip poker and call his bluff or is that buff? Most of all he taught me how to love myself, to be strong, to believe in myself, to smile everyday, how to be a better person. We may have struggled in the beginning of raising our girls but we taught each other how to be parents.
I know he thought the girls and I would be better off without him. I just wish my love was enough for him. I just wish......................................it was enough for him, because his love was enough for me.

Not Me! Monday?

Wild, crazy, and out of control week and weekend we had. Who would have thought. I did not drive 2 hours away to watch Red play basketball and go shopping. I did not go to Walmart and find a bleacher cushion of OSU on clearance or a bleacher chair for hubby. It was not a steal. I also had enough room in the car for her to ride home with us because, we didn't have too many present in the car. We didn't make room for her. She didn't play the whole game, and she didn't play like a 6 foot star. Nope, not my child.
The boys didn't get sick, and they didn't have their last basketball game. I didn't let them go, and I didn't tell their coach take it easy on them. The boys also didn't each make a basket. We didn't have a pizza party afterwards with a bunch of "well mannered boys" Nope, not us.
Saturday, wasn't filled with ball, birthday or Christmas parties. We didn't skip my brother's birthday party at a local bar and grill. We didn't lounge on the sofa watching tv when the kids went to bed. We didn't wake up to snow, wind or ice on Sunday morning. We didn't have to make a 2 hour drive into 4 for my granddad's service. We didn't pretend to be all nicey nicey to relatives we don't like. Nope, not me, the perfect child, daughter, grandchild. Nope, not me. Boy do I have them all fooled.

On a side note, we did have my granddad's service on Sunday. It was very nice and laid back. He would have liked it very much. We did have to drive thru some awful weather. Oregon, usually only rains but we did get snow and pretty much they shut down the city. It was a fun time in the truck, chit chatting with hubby and boys. The girls rode with other family. We saw a semi wreck over the center barrier and lots of wrecked cars along side the road. It is very scary how mother nature works. We hope the truck drive is ok and everyone else who was in a wreck. This is the last week of school before break. There was no school today but more snow is on the way. I really hope we can make it out this week before, Christmas break.

Clean

Lysol, Lysol, Lysol. Help me! I am tired of the smell of Lysol and bleach. Everyone has clean bedding. Every light switch and door handle has been washed down. Crossing fingers that no one else gets sick.

Sickness

Sickness has over come my house. Yep, that's right. The creep and crud. Curtis went to the drs and it is just a virus. He woke up Wednesday sick. The smell that creeped from his body was gross. The dr is just having him treat his symptoms. Well, this morning Dalton woke up, with the same thing. His asthma has really acted up. Parker seems to have started coughing also. Looks like it's time for the Lysol. Let's hope, no one else gets sick. KNOCK ON WOOD!

Not Me! Monday?

Not even sure where to begin. We had an off weekend.

I don't have a sore bum from sitting on the bench at too many basketball games. I didn't scream and yell when Red's team won, their first game. I didn't beam from ear to ear when the parents behind me told me "your daughter is a very good player". I didn't blush when the man next to me told me "that my other daughter looked just like me and she was very beautiful". I didn't want to strangle the boys' neck 2 minutes after I picked them up from school. They didn't fight all the way to the game. A 90 minute drive. I didn't put the earphones in and listen to the ipod the whole trip.

Insane or Not?

This was taken last year. This could be why I seem to have lost my mind.

They lost

They lost. boo hoo. Becca didn't play well. She said she was in a funk. By the 3rd quarter, my old child was back somewhat. "V" won by 1pt. It was back and forth. I love those games. She has another game Saturday. Then on Monday. That's a whole lot of ball.

Dec 5th Already?

Dec 5th already? 20 more days until Christmas. Where does the time go? We have just been so busy. At the last minute we went to the casino. We spent the day with some family then went xmas shopping. What a blast. Curtis finally loosened up and had some fun. We made a killing on the penny machines. Yes, the penny machines. We started with $100. We each had 40, then a 20 tucked away. I played on a penny machine for 2 hours and turned it into $128. We went and had lunch. Then played some more. Curtis' 40 turned into $160. So all in all we did pretty good. We came out ahead. We then went xmas shopping with our winnings. We had left that morning at 8 and didn't get back home until around 8. It was really nice to get out and relax for awhile.
Becca had her 1st game. They lost but I am very proud of her. She tried to get an offensive foul but didn't happen. The ref called it on her. The crowd went wild with boos. Just a bad call. The bruise on her elbow is awful. She scored some points. The "V" coach told me she played like she was 6ft tall. She is only 5' 1". Yep, that's my daughter. I have always believed in her. We have an away game tonight.
Britt has her "sats" tomorrow. Then, who knows from there what is going on with her. Seniors. The boys have a game tomorrow and so does Becca. Going to be a busy weekend.

Basketball

Red has her first basketball game today. Woo Hoo. I am so jazzed as, I love to watch her play basketball.
They got their uniforms last night, along with new warm up gear. Such a goof ball grabbed a large pants. You could fit another person in those pants.
She is pretty nervous about tonight. She will do fine. She always does.

Not Me! Monday?

I did not pray for Monday to hurry up and get here so the kids could go back to school. I did not stay up late playing a computer game because it was quite. I did not jump out of bed this morning all jazzed because the kids were going back to school. I did not spit shine Dalton's faces this morning because he had milk on his face. I did not hurry back home to read the paper and enjoy my coffee in quite. I did not soak in the bath this morning because it was quite. I did not paint my toes and watch a movie this morning. I did not jump on the scales this morning and I did not almost have a heart attack when, I did not look at them because I was not afraid to. Nope, not me.
Happy Monday